Coloring Outside The Lines

Oh No…She Didn’t

Child discovers the Vick’s VapoRub…Oh No She Didn’t!!!!!
OH YES…SHE DID!!!
There was a little girl who had a little curl
in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good she was very very good,
but when she was bad she was horrid.

*No eyes or any other body part were harmed in the over-application of Vaporub.

Filed under: mess, photo, toddler

I Never Knew That…

In the 30+ years I have wandered this earth, well not really wandered…I think I have been a homebody…not like Caine in Kung Fu or anything…

Anyways there are some things I never knew, but they* have informed me.

*they – the group of people who are swayed by rumors, unfounded observations and fairy tales. They feel it is their mission in life to provide people with information based on what they have discovered.

I never knew that…

  • tickling a baby can give them a stuttering problem. Just great! I’ve ruined my children from giving oral book reports or ever having a public speaking job.
  • if you don’t put cotton balls in your children’s ears when going outside on a windy day they could come down with a mysterious illness. They also must wear an over-sized hat pulled down to their eyeballs. I was more concerned that when they crossed the street with the cotton balls and vision impairing hats that they would never see or hear the ice cream truck bearing down on them.
  • Playing in the snow can make your child really sick. Well…I buy that one if they are prone to eating yellow snow, but I am highly doubtful that our friends to the North have overrun hospitals and clinics bursting at the seams trying to contain all those children who stood at the bus stop in 3 foot of snow.
  • If you make a bedspread or quilt, be sure and finish it or marriage will never come to you. Boy…somehow I missed the axe on that one in my teenage years. My children, however, are not looking like marriage material. Having three girls and three weddings to plan for though…I am not complaining.
  • Opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck. I wonder how the umbrella testers inside a factory feel about this one as they have to quality check the opening mechanism in the umbrella. I think I will make sure that if my girls do marry that they don’t marry an umbrella quality control man.
  • Cows lifting their tails is a sign of rain coming. Well, I don’t know about the rain…but something is coming and you might want to stand back or at least have an umbrella. (Not inside the barn though)
  • A cricket in the house brings good luck. Well, that explains my luck because a cricket in my house usually brings a steel toed boot on its head.
  • Plucking out a gray hair will bring ten more in its place. OK…this one I believe, although Clariol is helping me keep it a secret.
  • It’s bad luck to walk under a ladder. Umm…no, it’s bad luck to walk under a ladder of a clumsy painter balancing two buckets of paint. Ask my husband.

So what types of things did you never know?

Filed under: knowledge, old wives tales, superstitions

Easy (Momma, More Pleasey) Oatmeal Cookies

This is the easiest from scratch cookie I make. It’s sweet but not too sweet and I am convinced the oatmeal makes it healthy somehow. The cookies you can thank me and Mr. Quaker for…the personal health delusions are yours to own.

Preheat your oven to 350 (325 for dark pans) I highly recommend using Pam on your cookie sheet even though it calls for an ungreased cookie sheet.

Here are all your ingredients. You can chose whether or not to have your eggs looking at you like a pair of creepy egg optics.

  • 1/2 pound (2 sticks) margarine or butter, softened.
  • 1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of granulated sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 1-1/2 cup of all purpose flour
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. cinnamon (I omit this)
  • 1/2 tsp salt (optional)
  • 3 cups of Quaker Oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked)
  • 1 cup of raisins (dried cherries, cranberries, chocolate chips, etc.)

First thing you do is beat together your butter and your sugars

Until it is this consistency, creamy.

Add your eggs and vanilla

I suggest using a real teaspoon if you can find one. The Scribblers have run off with all but my 1/4th tsp. *sigh*

Beat these items well. Once again have proper equipment…use a mixer with two whisks…unlike my broken hoopty model.

Add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon (if you prefer) and salt. Mix well.

Next add in your oatmeal and raisins (or whatever you prefer, personally I leave out the raisins as I can’t handle the visual dead bug quality they have)

Drop rounded tablespoons (or ice cream scoops) onto your baking sheet.
Cook for 10 minutes. (I also use the broiler the last minute to uniformly brown the tops)
Listen to some tunes for the next 10 minutes. I find that a good mix of Abba, Bonnie Tyler and Van Halen do the trick.
Smooch on a Baby Bitsy if you have one.

Check on cookies to make sure they are cooking properly

Smooch again on a Baby Bitsy…Nope, you’ll have to get your own…

Have so much fun smooching on Baby Bitsy, you burn your first batch of cookies...

Pay attention to the second batch and they turn out perfectly…Drool not included!

Enjoy these cookies if your kids let you have any!

Filed under: cooking, oatmeal, oatmeal cookies, recipes

Ten Happy Makers

Mom Of The Perpetually Grounded has tagged me in a Monday meme about ten things that make me happy. So this will be my second post on a Monday.

  1. Doing that once a month pantry cleaning and finding a stray peanut M&M that must have fallen from the bag. Oh..come on, don’t roll your eyes…you’d pop that sucker in your mouth too. Especially when you never get a decent meal for trying to feed all the kids before yourself.
  2. Emptying the dryer and finding 16 socks. Yup, do your math…that means you actually have a complete 8 pairs of socks. Guess the dryer monster wasn’t hungry for sock snackages that day.
  3. Finding 3 bottles of BBQ sauce open in the fridge at one time. It means that we have more than enough food to eat!
  4. Coming up on the two year old Scribbler trying to share her sippy cup with her 1 month old little sister. Pat yerself on the back ole’ gal…you are raisin’ them Scribblers up proper-like.
  5. When The Head Crayon suggests we order out. Doesn’t matter than I let out the “sigh heard run the world” when I was looking in the fridge for food and found someone’s Pull-Up…just the fact that he offered to do dinner is good enough for me.
  6. Receiving and keeping a houseplant alive for more than 2 weeks. If I can keep that sucker thriving, that is my contribution to being green and helping the enviroment.
  7. The Slap Chop…anything that helps me do dinner, improve my karate chop (hiiiii-ya) and get my aggression out is a darn good product.
  8. Clean sheets from the dryer. For just one night or more like one hour, I am insured against sleeping in cracker crumbs, spilled milk and somebody’s prize empty toilet paper roller.
  9. My Ficus tree that is almost totally bare of leaves. Seem strange? Well, it happened the day my late talking 4 year old discovered the meaning and how to say “harvest” and “gardening” I am proud of her and my barren tree.
  10. Toys that have an optional battery compartment. It’s nice to have the choice on whether or not I want to replace the batteries of the “Laugh & Learn” puppy rather than hear one more rendition of the helium-induced voice singing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider one. more. time.

If you are reading this meme it means I have nominated you for participating. Get to it, can’t wait to see what makes you happy!! (My name better be in there somewhere!)

Filed under: Children

Uhh No, That was NOT ME!

Greatgooglygooster, I made it to Monday. I really never believed I would, not if you had asked me on Thursday when we had The Great Snow Event.
But, here I am…more or less intact (I am speaking about my body only, the brain can not be accounted for and I personally like it better this way)

Well, anyways on to the show…
Mondays are “Not Me Monday” over at MckMama’s blog. It’s a place to showcase our moments over the past week that we surely did NOT do. (note the sarcasm..it’s part of the game)
Anyways…click on the button and play along!

  

I love my family more than anything. The three kids, the two elderly inlaws, the dog, the husband and I in my house make home “home” Therefore it was NOT me who after 48 hours of sharing the fume-ages of all these people during our Great Snow Event, poured a gallon of milk down the sink, uttering a milk emergency and braving the icy roads to make a milk run only to get my milk in the form of a dollop of cream on my Starbuck latte’
My husband and I are responsible adults. We pay car insurance. It was NOT us that was observed and reprimanded by the local law enforcement for doing donuts in an iced over empty parking lot. Two close to 40 year olds would never participate in such behavior. They also would never guiltily drive away only to search for another parking lot that was not being monitored….

It was NOT me screaming at my children to buck it up and embrace the frigid temps. (I don’t care if you can’t feel your fingers we are building a snowman! Quit your whining and grab a carrot with your mouth if you can’t feel all ten digits) My southern children who are not accustomed to anything colder that 45 degrees did NOT observe their mother playing in the snow like a frisky puppy while snot froze to their faces as they were trying to get the door open (Doors are hard to open with frozen fingers)

Filed under: Children

The Crayon Wrangler

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To My Children

Come, Little One, and follow behind, walk with me all through the day. Stay with me, play with me, share my world and I'll help you find your own way. Come Dearest Child, let's grow together, helping each other be strong, building a home, so that when you may roam you'll discover just where you belong.

Old Scribbles

The Scribblers and Eaters of Crayons

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Our Newest Blessing

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